My liver just broke up with me...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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