why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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