I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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