I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
