We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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