Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
