I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
