Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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