East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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