Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
