It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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