What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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