I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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