So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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