You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
