i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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