Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Welp...herpes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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