where does the pee come out of this thing
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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