you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
