I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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