I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
