For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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