They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
