all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
