Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
