dude i'm inner monologue high
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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