Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
