they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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