i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
