Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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