So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
