I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
