we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i think my cat just said my name.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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