Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize