STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
