Ambien. No doubt about it.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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