I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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