is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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