Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
