You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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