Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
