just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
