I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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