i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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