"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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