Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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