What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
