dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
