His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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