She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
then he tried to convert me to islam
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
