i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
