Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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