all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
