Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize