beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
