So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
