Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sober January is a disaster.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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