He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
